A Very Sleepy Christmas

My bedroom smells like gingerbread, courtesy of the Frosted Gingerbread candle burning on my desk. The living room still smells of the ‘Tis The Season candle my mom bought a week or so ago, where the new Christmas tree (our fourth or fifth one to be exact) can be found along with the Christmas cards we received this year, taped to the doorway leading to the kitchen. Even though yesterday was Christmas, it didn’t feel different from any other day.

I somewhat felt like a little kid again, staying up until early in the morning, waiting for Santa to come, even though I know he wouldn’t make an appearance until I was fast asleep. The only problems with that equation are that there isn’t actually a Santa Claus, I’m (unfortunately) not a child anymore and I wasn’t accompanied by any high hopes for a stranger bearing gifts because the presents were already under our tree. Okay, that’s a lie. I didn’t completely feel like I was five again, but you get where the stereotypical nostalgia comes into play.

I found myself staying up until four in the morning, accompanied by the familiar acquaintances sleeplessness and a stomach-ache. I finally managed to go to sleep, only to be woken up some four hours later. Strangely, it wasn’t that big of a deal, my slumber being interrupted. Usually, it would be because I don’t get enough sleep as it is, but yesterday was different. It was Christmas.

As every year, once everyone was awake, fully or not, it was time to open presents. I opened two boxes, finding inside a really pretty framed painting, a lacy grey top that would be perfect to wear to a New Year’s party (if I had one to go to) and a grey ‘boyfriend’ cardigan I’d seen at Target a couple of weeks ago that I regretted buying until yesterday…Not to mention the money I’d received on Christmas Eve or the day before, and the box of Ferrero Rocher my brother opened before I opened my second box…What can I say? I’m a chocolate lover, and my parents know it.

The rest of my Christmas went as follows:

Sleep, sleep and more sleep.

I fell asleep and woke up at noon or so, only to fall back to sleep. I finally got my ass in gear and got my afternoon started (yes, afternoon). For some reason, I always kind of feel bad if I fall asleep on a holiday (or sometimes any day) for a long period of time, but it wasn’t like I was doing anything. Honestly, I wasn’t. My family wasn’t doing anything for Christmas, other than opening presents, holiday dinner and hanging out. When it comes to Christmas, or any holiday for that matter, my family is usually pretty chill. Nothing special, really, just celebrating it with family and being thankful for what it is we do have, not what we don’t.

All and all, this Christmas was a good one. While it was the first Christmas without my sister, and somehow lacked the cheer it previously had in all my 21 years, but I have no complaints.

…Scratch that. I do have one complaint…

I couldn’t find Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer on any channel. Sure, there was A Christmas Story on for 24 hours as it for as long as I remember, the History Channel having plenty of things on about Jesus (even though it seemed like the contents of said specials concerning Christ should be shown during another time) and an Indiana Jones marathon, but no Rudolph. I proceeded to search the for the good ‘ol red-nose by name on TV, only to find that he won’t be making an appearance until New Year’s Eve, in Rudolph’s Shiny New Year.

Figures. The one time I actually want to watch something that’s Christmas-related, it isn’t even on. Just my luck. Thankfully, New Year’s Eve is only four days away, and the fact that there will be an all day Twilight Zone marathon makes it even better. While Netflix does have the show amongst the endless amount of shows that are featured, it only has seasons 1-3 and 5. After countless hours of watching it earlier this year, I still don’t get why that season is absent. Oh well. Like some things in this vast world, this green-eyed girl may never know.

Even though this Christmas honestly didn’t feel like, well, Christmas, it was still a great one. I would be lying if I didn’t say it was. Granted, there was only one piece of Cheesecake Factory brand cheesecake and no hot apple cider consumed by yours truly, and more than one nap taken, but you get the idea. Whether this year had that particular cheer or not, it doesn’t change the fact that it was a good one at that.

The trademark Ohio snowfall made it all the more sleep-inducing.

Reminds You You’re Still Human 

Two summers ago, I wrote about how I endured (somewhat painlessly actually) the snakebites that now adorn my lip in aqua labrets. This winter, I’m writing about something else I endured rather painlessly as well…My first tattoo.

I felt comfortable walking into the tattoo shop again, this time with my mom and sister, despite the fact I wasn’t getting anything pierced. I felt confident. I felt outrageously excited and not at all nervous as I spoke to the tattoo artist and told him what and how I wanted it to look and where. After drawing it up and figuring out how the size and such, I was taken back to my tattoo artist’s designated space. With the correct placement and agreement on said placement reached, I was ready to lie down in the tattoo chair and begin what I’d come here to receive. My first tattoo…On my lower stomach.

Before you start to freak out, it honestly didn’t hurt. Sure it was a little weird, but in all honesty it felt kind of good. It’s strange to say, but what else can I say? I guess I have a high pain tolerance. If only some people’s tolerance for other things were as strong…I would like to say that there was small talk  while I was getting the needle expertly carving words into my lower stomach, but there wasn’t. And there didn’t need to be. I didn’t squirm. I wasn’t screaming bloody murder. I admired the assorted artwork and articles on the wall of his station, and smiled whenever I heard him sing whatever song was playing overhead. Yes, I smiled. I couldn’t help but smile.

After a little over a half hour, my first tattoo was finished, and I found myself still smiling. How could I not? I’d just gotten my first tattoo, and I loved it. Well, I love it still, but you get the idea. Looking back at me in my reflection was ‘Walk Between The Raindrops’  across my lower stomach in black, the dotting of the “I” in raindrops being a light blue raindrop. Still gushing uncontrollably, I was told by Travis (I actually got his name this time) how to clean and take care of it, then proceeded to shake his hand and thank him for the great work. I was still gushing as we drove back home, and I’m still gushing as I sit here listening to Maroon 5, writing this post.

I’m surprised. I’m delighted that I went through with it, getting a tattoo, let alone my first, on such a spot as that. It was a big decision, especially actually going through with it, and being able to say it was enjoyable. Especially since it’s permanent. It’s something that will be with me for the rest of my natural life, and I love it…Now, my biggest decision this early Monday morning is whether or not to go to sleep, swooning to my Classic or finish watching Gangster No. 1 on Netflix. If only all decisions in life were that simple.

Pain is the most beautiful thing in world…It reminds you you’re still human.

Plunging In, Head-First 

The last time I graced this blog with my words and experiences was in November…2 months ago…No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the Earth, no matter how many times I wished I could. Yes, I said it. There are times where I just wanted to turn off my cell phone, and not deal with anyone. Not log onto Facebook for a couple of days, and not deal with anything. It’s safe to say I did that. So while I haven’t fallen off the planet, I have learned a multitude of new things about myself since the beginning of the new year.

I remember at the end of my last post that I had no idea what would come from Autumn’s falling leaves and Winter’s impending snow…It’s now more than safe to say that I know what they brought…No job, surprisingly amazing health and an obstacle I’d rather not mention for the memories’ sake. Yes, you read correctly. My baker job didn’t work out as planned, but strangely, that isn’t really one of my major concerns right now. That’s right. I said a job isn’t one of my main concerns at the moment. I will find another job when I’m damn good and ready. Sure, my mornings are sometimes sleepless because of the night schedule I managed to uphold, but that’s nothing episodes of The Twilight Zone and other various titles on Netflix can’t occupy. And reading. I’m reading again. I finished The Devil in the White City that I’d been reading since last April, American Psycho (for the second time), The Great Gatsby, and am currently putting a healthy dent in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It’s safe to say my inner bookworm is finally being unleashed after a long hiatus.

While the new year brought out my long-lost passion for reading, it also brought good health. Amazing health at that. Now, it might not seem like a very amazing thing, great health and all, but for me it is. Especially after what it put me through last year. No, it didn’t put me in the hospital or anything like that, but it made me learn something new about myself that I don’t think I was really seeing…To put it bluntly, I turn into a bitch when I don’t feel good. When I’m having a stomach-clenching flare-up, I become frustrated and take everything out on everyone else…Thankfully, I’m not like that anymore. I didn’t really change who I am, but rather just my medication. Sure, it might be more pills I have to take now, but I’m feeling a hell of a lot better. I wake up without stomach pain. I don’t find myself staying up at night because of stomach pain. I don’t randomly freak out and go into manic fits because of said stomach pain. I’m feeling amazing, and it’s a great feeling.

Despite the fact the beginning of this new year kind of sucked in its own little way, it’s also been the best start I would’ve asked for. I learned that while it’s great to have a job, I’m a lot less stressed without it, and feel significantly better health-wise. I don’t think I will ever really stop reading, writing or blogging, not matter how long I find myself uninspired or on hiatus for. I have a lot of new ideas for posts and poetry buzzing around in my brain, along with a couple posts I’ve been working on for a good 2 years now. Yes, you read right. I have a couple posts I started 2 years ago and have yet to finish. I blame my lack of motivation at the time, and everything in between…

I know I said this before, but I’ll say it again. This year is going to be different. No more going a couple of months without blogging. When I first started my blog, I would write every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and honestly, I sometimes miss that. This year will definitely be different. I’ll share more of my poetry and such, along with anything else that strikes my fancy that particular day, along with the unfinished posts I mentioned earlier.

…With all of this said, I’m just happy. I’m ready for whatever this new year has to offer.

I’m plunging in, head-first.

October Anatomy

Fall. Autumn. The third out of fourth season. Whatever you want to call it, there’s no sure-fire way of denying that it’s here. And it’s definitely here.

It’s the season where everything changes, whether you want it to or not. The mornings are becoming colder and colder. The sun rises later, and is then defeated by the night sky even earlier. The leaves are changing from their crisp summer green to their crimson, orange, and yellow fall counterparts…All this makes you wonder where summer went, and how fast is winter really approaching.

I’ll be honest, I love walking home from school in the fall. From the warm, burning smell that seems to linger in the air, to the changing leaves falling and crunching under my feet. All while listening to the company of my iPod, away in my own world, but still fully aware of the cars and other people walking past. Some of the songs remind me of the season. Don’t ask me why. Maybe it’s because it is Fall, or maybe because they were actually intended for this time of year. Or maybe it’s just me being me. Whatever the case may be, I still love it.

The festivities are what really get me. I mean, every holiday has their own decorations and treats, but something about Fall decorations and treats makes me feel warm and happy. I know that probably sounds kind of lame, but’s it’s the honest-to-God truth. I love the Pumpkin Lattes at any participating Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, the huge pieces of pumpkin pie, with a very, very generous amount of whipped cream on top, and especially, Halloween. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, even though some would say it’s not considered a holiday. Whatever you choose, you can’t deny that getting free candy is a bad thing because it’s not. At least I don’t think it is.

With all this love for the Fall, it makes me wonder where summer went…It seems like it went by wayyy too fast…And remember winter is just around the corner. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Don’t get me wrong, winter can be pretty beautiful, but it makes me think of how close the year is ending already. In less than two months, it will be December, which means Christmas, which then means a new year is drawing closer than it is now.

It’s kind of sad thinking of how such a beautiful season seems to be passing and changing as fast as the leaves. I mean, there’s still another month of Fall left, but doesn’t feel like it. I plan on enjoying the rest of what Fall has to offer, and savor its beauty and awesomeness as much as I can.

Let the pumpkins glow and the candy bags overflow.

Defective little dreamcatcher

You know how dreamcatchers are meant to keep bad dreams from entering your little dreamland when you sleep? I wonder if there’s some kind of policy against weird, really awkward dreams, too. If there is, then mine is definitely defective.

I’ve never had a dreamcatcher, but I’ve always thought they were interesting. I was over my sister’s house a month ago or so, and she was getting rid of stuff she didn’t want. I ended up getting her dreamcatcher.

For some reason, I didn’t put it up by one of my windows right away. It just sat on my desk for a couple days. My bedroom is actually in the basement of my house, so I only have two windows, that aren’t that big. I finally decided to put it in the window closest to my bed, the most obvious choice, I guess.

Nothing really changed in Noelle’s little dreamland until a couple days ago. Lately, I’ve been having just down right awkward and weird dreams. Just completely random and just really, really weird. In one of them, my former friend and I both attend the same elite academy and are on some kind of field trip. We’re standing among a bunch of other people, and I’m standing on some platform and for once, I was actually taller than her. With a little help from my Doc Marten’s of course. It’s weird because she’s 5’11” and I’m 4’10” and I was wearing boots and standing on a platform and was taller. She then proceeds to tell me that I look “alot prettier in the summer and winter because of the outfit I was wearing.” I guess it wasn’t pretty enough for her. It was really strange.

In my latest, one of my relatives, who I haven’t seen in awhile, is talking to me, and I’m not paying attention because I’m too busy reading an article on Christian Bale. We were in my backyard and for some reason, she had a pair of binoculars, looking at the houses behind my house. I didn’t even wanna know what she was doing. I really didn’t care. I just wanted to read the article. Out of nowhere, she tells me to “Make her a sandwich”…And I’m like “What? Make your own.” She tells me to “Stop reading and make me a sandwich.” I’m like, “You’re kidding, right?”…Next thing I know, I’m making her a freakin’ sandwich, crying my eyes out. I don’t even know what she wants on it, I just make it. Apparently, I didn’t make it right because she just looked at me and continued to say things I didn’t wanna hear. That’s what you get for not letting me finish the article on Christian Bale. I make you the wrong kind of sandwich. Ha! The other half of the dream was me and my two friends who don’t even talk to each other anymore. All 3 of us were in school, except our school looked really…different. Really weird and just not how school looked. We were in the hallway and this monster-looking thing passed us and took my cell phone. Or maybe I just lost it. But I could have sworn that the monster thing took it. We went into the computer lab, expecting to go on the computers or something. Instead, people were scratching the computer screens with keys to access their email accounts, and people were getting piercings done in the smaller room attached to it. Needless to say, I didn’t go on any of the computers and I didn’t end up getting anything pierced. Even more stranger than the first.

Everything about both of those dreams is just weird and out of the ordinary. If there is some kind of policy on dreams like that, my dreamcatcher is definitely defective.

Sometimes dreams are stranger than reality. Sometimes reality is the sanest place to lay your head.