Organization Amongst The Chaos

After months of talking about it and countless minutes browsing around the furniture section at Target, (only to find it in the organization section of the store) I found exactly what I wanted.

A bookcase.

A black bookcase that fits almost perfectly on my desk. I say almost perfectly because it takes up the majority of the right side. Despite the fact it takes so much room, it’s a welcome piece of organizational beauty.

I can’t say that my desk was a mess before I purchased the bookcase, but I honestly can’t say that it was tidy either.

Going from left to right:

The framed black and silver scratch board portrait of Ville Valo I did Senior year…In front of the picture is a silver and white bank teller style lamp, a black spider web candle holder that holds sweat bands and bracelets I used to wear when I was twelve, a mug I made in my Art class Senior year (that someone else painted because I wasn’t there) holding a red Coke bottle and more bracelets, a glass skull candle holder where my Burt’s Bees lip balms are kept, and a clear glass block that holds my pens and markers.

My black pinstripe Dell laptop I somewhat received four years ago is in front of such items, along with a polar bear PEZ dispenser from the movie The Golden Compass I named Heisenbear (the only reason I bought it is because it’s a bear). A frosted candle holder (that’s actually used for candles), a pumpkin candle holder, a black and white rabbit whose pattern resembles that of a Ladybug, and a clown named Jared that used to be on the top shelf of my locker in the 8th grade.

An Aspen Matthews figure from the comic book Fathom, another glass candle holder, the fist stack of books I own (ones I’ve already read), a black glass block, harboring miscellaneous items, including my Aviator sunglasses and a bookmark I recently unearthed from when I was in Kindergarten. A Vera Bradley coin purse I received for Christmas two years ago, a gold three-tier candle holder, a black picture frame holding two pictures taken on prom night…In front of it a Lego Eiffel Tower my brother made me, a black iPod speaker, a light Jade colored vase with Koi fish as handles, keeping a paper fan and multiple business cards for the same tattoo shop safe…Lastly, a Jack Skellington jewelry box a friend of mine gave to me for Christmas one year, supporting the second stack of books I own (the ones I haven’t read yet).

All 42 books (yes, I bought three new books a couple of weeks ago at the bookstore), now reside on the four shelves of my new bookcase, with the exception of a poetry book a friend gave me Sophomore year, Edgar Allen Poe and Stephenie Meyer. Those six books are placed on top of said bookcase, my Jack Skellington jewelry box is balanced atop the assorted poetry and Poe, while Meyer’s saga is under the protection of Dean, a Beagle stuffed animal that I received after the accident I had at work two years ago.

The rest of the items I mentioned on my laundry-list of things are still on my desk, with the exception of a couple of items that fit perfectly in the free space of the bookcase.  My frosted candle holder and Aspen Matthews reside in the lower right shelf where one book stood alone, and next to that, under  Between a stack of alphabetized pieces and Stieg Larsson’s trilogy, is my black, white and green Vera Bradley coin purse. My Ladybug rabbit is nestled near smaller books on the upper left shelf, while the Lego Eiffel Tower and Heisenbear rest above…Everything is in a proper, organized place. I never thought I’d say that in regards to my desk.

From Bradbury, Ellis and Poe, to Larsson, Palahniuk and Thompson (and every author in between), the pieces of written word that I obsess over are finally arranged as such, and honestly, I’m feeling pretty good about it. I know it probably sounds lame, but it’s true. I feel better about sitting down at my desk to write now. I actually want to. I have more space. I don’t have to be afraid of the possibility of books falling over, or not having enough room to spread out. I’m comfortable sitting at my desk because everything is indeed organized…

It’s really the little things.

If only everything was this easy to organize.

My Friend Of Insomnia 

I can’t sleep. It’s almost 2 in the morning and my eyes are wide open. Unfortunately, this isn’t something new. I find myself struggling with the awkward, stubborn Insomnia more than usual. I probably should go to sleep, lay in bed and give into the cliché of counting sheep, or listen to my Ipod or read. Reading always puts me to sleep, but I haven’t been in a reading mood in a while.

I’m just sitting here.

My dark red chair feels comfy at this time in the morning, more comfy than usual. I find myself sitting in it, listening to HIM’s cover of Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear The Reaper” and searching for a picture for the next project I have in art class. Coincidentally, I’ve chosen a picture of HIM lead, Ville Valo. I thought I would stand out as far as pictures went, not to mention that the picture is beautiful. But that is for another day…

I feel like my mind is easily wandering this morning, more than any other time it wanders. I’m thinking about an array of different things at once. A doctor’s appointment I have today at 3 o’clock this afternoon and a paper for my Senior Seminar class due tomorrow (Friday). It’s almost finished, and my plans of completing it today just didn’t happen. I should work on it now, but I’m not in the right frame of mind to write something for school. I honestly can’t think of school right now, it’s just not what’s important at this time of the morning. In another 6 hours of course, but not now. What’s important now, is that I’m gently swooning to the ever-changing music on my Dell. Right now being “Mute” by Blaqk Audio, in 3 minutes or more being something else. My inability to listen to one song for too long has set in. It’s now “Warmness On The Soul” by Avenged Sevenfold. Strangely, this song is longer than the last, but it’s definitely more soothing. I think that in the battle of techno-electronica beats and pianos/old-school breakdowns, the latter is always the unlikely champion. Especially at this time of morning.

I’ve listened to the same song 3 times already, trying to convince myself to go to sleep. Give into the skillfully played piano, old-school sounding guitar solo and strange beauty of M. Shadows’s voice in the early days of their career. I’m pretty sure the play count has been upped to about seven or eight by now. Okay, the play count is probably higher, but I’m honestly not counting.

Before I descending into my room (literally), I was watching the shows Man vs. Wild and Monsters Inside Me. The episode of Monsters was a case of déjà vu from the beginning of the school year because it was the exact same episode I’d seen the first time I watched it. I watched it anyway, and it still creeped me out. The thought of a parasite living inside someone is disgustingly stomach-churning. I hadn’t seen the episode of Wild, although I think my dad did. Not too sure. I love how in the beginning of the show it’s Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls. Curious to see if Bear was actually his name, I looked it up. No. Bear isn’t his real name. His name is actually Edward. That would’ve been pretty interesting if Bear was indeed his real name.

“Warmness On The Soul” passed by faster than it did all the other times it played, and I’m missing it. I could play it, but I’m too lazy. And tired. I’m feeling myself give into the sleepiness that I didn’t think I had in me, or maybe it’s because HIM is playing again. I find the latter to be the unlikely cause and the tiredness the more likely. It would make sense if I got some sleep. I would be able to focus and my mind wouldn’t be yelling at me every time I try to close my eyes. It would make a lot of sense if I got some sleep.

Right now, at nearly 4 o’clock in the morning on this Thursday, I’m listening to “Razorblade Kiss” by HIM and strongly considering going to bed. I might just let my mind wander, taking in Ville’s amazing voice, thinking too many thoughts.

I’m still sitting in my dark red chair, going on my second listening of “Razorblade Kiss”, regretting that I’m actually on my second listen. I know I’ll regret it a couple hours from now, but at least I can say that it was Ville’s voice that helped put me to sleep.

Insomnia is like chain-smoking. It doesn’t benefit you.