Graveyard Shift, Take 2

I should be sleeping right now. There are no two ways around that fact. My head should be resting on my headless Jack Skellington pillow case, listening to the tick-tock motions of the clock hanging in my room and Aiden’s latest release, Disguises, both slowly aiding in helping me achieve the sleep I so gravely desire. Needless to say, that isn’t happening or else I obviously wouldn’t be writing this post. Instead, I’m sitting on the futon in the area outside of my bedroom, listening to Aiden on shuffle on iTunes, wide awake.

Honestly, I’m not too sure how I’m as awake as I am. This past weekend, I got a grand total of 7 and a half hours of sleep…3 and a half hours Sunday morning when I came home at 6 in the morning from my second overnight 10pm to 6am price changing spree, and 4 hours Monday morning, waking up for the usual early morning shift that starts ironically at 6 in the morning…I’m not complaining that I’m not getting enough sleep because that’s the last thing I want to do. I remember there was a time where I couldn’t fall asleep to save my life and a part of me hated it, while the other embraced its ability to unleash my creative chaos. Now, I honestly don’t want to fall asleep. I feel bad for falling asleep during the day, especially on a day that I don’t work. I feel like if I sleep in or nap during the day, then I didn’t accomplish anything, like my day is ruined, wasted. Why do I feel like this? I haven’t the slightly idea. I actually miss not being able to fall asleep. My creative side misses the random early morning writing sprees, accompanied by my iTunes library on shuffle. There have been nights/mornings where I battle the monster of Insomnia and the plague of stomach pain, but I wouldn’t say those count…My creative side doesn’t appreciate those nights/mornings at all, the same can be said for my not-so-creative side. No matter which way you cut it, nights/mornings like that suck majorly.

Luckily this Tuesday morning, I’m not plagued by anything except the fact that I’m wide awake. I wouldn’t really call that being plagued because this post is coming out of my inability of wanting to fall asleep, and usually being plagued wouldn’t produce anything but frustration and an hour or two of just staring at my alarm clock, shuffling through my Classic. Therefore, I’m not necessarily plagued per say, just able to find enough energy to create something meaningful out of an unlikely situation.

…It’s now almost noon on this Tuesday morning, and in case you haven’t been paying attention or fell asleep, you’ll notice that I myself fell asleep. Yes, I honestly thought I was stronger than that, but after walking around my kitchen aimlessly with Aiden on shuffle on my iPod, then retreating to my room, I found myself gravitating to my comfy sheets at a quicker rate than usual. Now, that I’m more well-rested than I was at 1 this morning, I’m not too sure what to write about now. I blame the lack of sleep…Lack of sleep ironically makes me think more, causing me to spill whatever I’m thinking about onto my keyboard…Plus my laptop was already turned on, the shining beacon of possibility among my never-ending harbor of racing thoughts. Yes, you read right. I just typed that. Unfortunately, it is true at the moment. I not too sure what to write about. Sure, my mind is racing as usual, but it’s more or less just the itinerary of my day off, which isn’t very interesting and I don’t want to disappoint with something that isn’t remotely interesting. I bet that if I was attending school right now, I would have loads of interesting things to share. Then again if I had classes, I probably wouldn’t be finishing this post and there’s a good chance it might not have been written because I would’ve already been sleeping by the time I started composing it early this morning. There certainly are advantages to that fact, but this is not a ranting post and I don’t want to turn it into one so close to the end. Besides, I’ve already ranted about college and I hate to repeat myself.

Right now, it’s a little after 1 and I’m listening to The Word Alive. I might as well find something interesting to do now that I’m not a walking zombie. Maybe get a Grande fancy coffee drink from Starbucks and if the weather persists to be somewhat beautiful, go to the park and then after watch The Shining with my boyfriend. Who knows, maybe I’ll go on an adventure and discover something outrageously interesting to write about along the way. Maybe I’ll go out on a whim and get another piercing without telling anyone…Which I honestly just might do one day, just not today. I’m not psyched up for it and the proper notifications haven’t been made, but when it happens, I will surely write about it.

This is what happens when I work the weekend graveyard shift. I can’t fall asleep, then I end up falling asleep later. Don’t worry, there’s more to come…And I will dub it ‘Graveyard shift, Take 3’. *hint, hint*.

It’s amazing what happens when you can’t sleep.

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Lack Of Sleep And A Higher Education 

It’s been a long time since I’ve written any kind of ranting post. I mean, it’s not that there’s nothing for me to rant about. Believe me, there are a lot of things I could be ranting on and on about, but would any of it be interesting or well, worth ranting about?…Then again, why am I asking the potential followers of this blog? I’m not too sure either.

Right now, I feel like I’m somewhat running on empty, which is absolutely no excuse for me to be ranting, but for some reason, I find myself noticing things more and more because I’m tired. You’re probably wondering why I’m running on empty and the answer is pure and simple…I worked overnight last from 10 at night to 6 this morning, scanning for price changes, and I didn’t get enough sleep beforehand. I did, but at the same time, I didn’t. I wasn’t falling asleep at all while I was scanning and walking around to different parts of the store, but I sure as hell felt the familiar cloud of sleepiness come over me. Don’t get me wrong, my first night of price changes was actually pretty peaceful and uncomplicated…And yes, I actually just said that price changes at the wee hours of the night/morning is peaceful because it is. I didn’t have to deal with any customers and their never-ending slew of questions, but I have to say it was pretty creepy hearing music over the speakers with practically no one in the store. Very creepyyy.

With the reason for my sleepy eyes accounted for, let me first start my little rant by saying that summer needs to be here already…It’s on everyone’s mind and no one seems to be saying anything, so I figured what the hell? I love how snow looks falling on the ground just as much as the next young lady, but it seriously just needs to stop altogether and be summer. I honestly miss warm weather. I mean, humidity gives me the worst headaches, but I would much rather have a headache that can be taken away with some good ‘ol Excedrin, then have a cold that takes a month to fully rid of. Headaches I can deal with, colds I unfortunately cannot. I seriously miss that great second season known as Summer. I miss going to the park and laying out in the grass or swinging on any available swingsets…Yes, I am indeed a child at heart…I miss swimming in my purple bathing suit and lounging out on the swing in my backyard, listening to whatever music happens to be on shuffle. All and all, I think it’s more than safe to say that I miss that beautiful and humidy-stricken thing called Summer. I only hope that it comes soon as oppose to later.

I’m going to veer off the subject of annoyances for a quick second because, quite frankly, I’m not too keen on what I can complain about at the moment. Sure, I’m running on said hours of sleep and there are plenty of things I could complain about. Believe me, there is. No doubt about that fact…Everything from the lack of sleep because of the overnight shift at work (despite the fact that I enjoy the silence and solitude) to the ever-growing fact that I’m not as close to some people as I was at the end of school year.

Yes, I think I found something to rant about all of a sudden. I remember somewhere around this time last year, I was talking about how I was getting ready for graduation and my plans after said graduation. Unfortunately, those plans didn’t turn out as well, planned. Call it being a loser or just one of the consequences of not saving for college ahead of time or whatever you damn well please, but I’m currently not going to school like the majority of my peers. Why? I honestly couldn’t afford it at the time. Sure, I had big plans of saving for college and strangely, I would have enough to pay for one semester with the money I have saved now plus the amount I was awarded, but I’ve opened my eyes to one simple fact: I don’t need to go to school right out of high school. I know I said that I was going to wait a while anyway and go in the Spring or this coming Fall, but honestly, I don’t really think I want to attend school even then. College would just be one more stress that I don’t think I need now, and I think anyone will agree that if you can put off something that’s stress-inducing until a better time when it might not be so stress-inducing, then why the hell not? Sometimes I seriously think that’s what separates me from some of the people I used to be close with at the end of the year last year, the simple fact that I’m not gaining some higher education at the moment. As if just because I’m not attending college, it makes me some kind of inferior person, basically a loser in every respect of the word. I’m somehow the lesser person because I’m working and not cramming my brain with information that may or may not benefit me in the long-run. Go figure. Thankfully, I don’t see it that way, or else I would be in school right now. Granted the entire reason is because I didn’t have the funds at the time, but still.

Once again, call it what you will, but I’m glad I’m not waking up early to go to school every day or designated day. I would much rather wake up early to go to work, being wired on caffeine to combat the lack of sleep, as oppose to the routine of waking up early and listening to a lecture that I would most likely fall asleep during. Coffee and energy drinks were invented for better causes than that.

For some reason, I’ve lost the fuel to rant at the moment…Whether it be the sleep I lost catching up with me or what have you, I feel like I have nothing to rant about anymore. It seems like I can only muster the brain power to rant about how much I miss Summer and how I don’t need the stresses of college right now, but I’m not too worried about that. Sure, there still are things I can rant about, and I’m more than positive they’re things I’ve ranted and raved about before, but they’ll have to wait ’til another time…When I’ve had more sleep and am not sleepwalking through Wal-Mart, helping my mother look for couch covers…I’m totally serious. It happened….Luckily, the two Grande orders of Starbucks somewhat helped.

(Kudos to whoever created the Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Your contribution to the arts of fine coffee-making is greatly appreciated.)

My lack of sleep and a higher education are just astonishing.

My Classic French Vanilla Sunday Morning 

A mug of piping hot French Vanilla + my black Classic on shuffle = An interesting Sunday morning wake-up call.

“Whiskey In The Morning” – Buckcherry

“Desecrate Through Reverance” – Avenged Sevenfold

“Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back” – My Chemical Romance

“Black Anathema” – Calabrese

“Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us” – My Chemical Romance

“I Have To Go Return Some Videotapes” – Breathe Carolina

“Tyranny Of Normality” – Papa Roach

“Halloween In Heaven” – Type O Negative

“Self Pity” – AFI

“Gimme A D” – Parkway Drive

“Another Day, Another Way” – Volbeat

“Mad World” – Gary Jules

“Heaven” – A Skylit Drive

“They Call Us Death” – Calabrese

“Graverobber” – The Damned Things

How clever.

Among Many Firsts 

Being an avid reader, I would’ve thought that it was somewhere I’d gone frequently, but it turns out that that was not the case. Immediately walking through the doors, I felt some strange and interesting sense, of well, belonging. The place I’m talking about, ladies and gentlemen, is Borders.

Okay, so I know that walking into Borders might not be such a big deal to most people, but seeing as I don’t exactly view myself as most people (call it whatever you want to) and the fact that I’d never been in that particular store before, it’s a big deal to me. It was just the coolest thing to me…Seeing so many books and magazines, along with a Seattle’s Best coffee shop built right in, it was just amazing to me… My own little piece of vanilla coated and caramel drenched heaven. I probably sound like a total book nerd and/or caffeine addict, but with every fiber of my being, I don’t care. The Borders bookstore across the street from the mall that my boyfriend and I had exited yesterday amazed me and that is that.

But back to what really matters. It is indeed safe to say that this entire week was a great deal of firsts. For starters, not only did I enter a gigantic Borders for the first time, and proceed to try Seattle’s Best, I read Metal Hammer magazine for the first time. Ever. I’m usually enthralled whenever I get my monthly issue of Revolver, but this was totally different. Upon walking in, we found ourselves drawn to the magazine section. We went from the Culture & Politics to the ever-important and far more interesting Music section. The first thing that caught my eye was a magazine with Muse lead Matthew Bellamy on the cover. I honestly don’t know why. My eyes quickly scanned over a little further until I saw this month’s issue of Alternative Press, fully equipped with Bring Me The Horizon’s Oli Sykes and Alkaline Trio’s Matt Skiba gracing the Warped Tour edition cover. I hadn’t read AP in years and thought I’d give it a quick read. I scanned through and noticed that there were some good bands on Warped Tour this year (despite the fact it already came to my city!).

Finding myself slightly bored with it, I put it back and discovered that my boyfriend and I had both discovered the July issue of Metal Hammer at the same time, or at least a few seconds after. Gracing the cover with their presence was Avenged Sevenfold. We both immediately noticed what was missing from the equation and equally found that it just didn’t look right. Where usually five black-clad men would stand now only four stood against the artful graffiti on the wall shot behind them. It was the first magazine cover we both had seen without the late, beloved drummer, Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan. Cleverly enough, to our surprise, the graffiti on the wall shot behind the band was that of The Rev himself…With deathbat wings.

After saying that ‘it just doesn’t look the same’ and ‘we should totally read the article’, we decided to stop at the Seattle’s Best coffee conveniently attached to the bookstore and well, read the article. We both ordered cold coffees, one vanilla and the other caramel, and sat down at one of the many tables. We then proceeded to take turns reading, while enjoying the cool, sweet goodness of our coffee drinks. Just looking upon the Metal Hammer cover apparently wasn’t enough to see how much the band changed, I had to literally read to learn that. Sure enough when I took the magazine from where it was set on the table, I found that there was quite a lot that was different. I wouldn’t exactly go to that extreme and say that a lot of things were different, but it was all too clear that they’re growing up as individuals as oppose to just growing up as a band. My boyfriend and I both noticed little details that would’ve being so-called personal trademarks to each member have changed some way or another, giving way to a whole new array of trademarks. Sure, I think it’s safe to say that those insignificant brandings on each one of them will be missed somehow, but it is safe to say that it shows that they have the ability to change (as they’ve always had) and they still know how to embrace right now…Basically, the article psyched me up for their much anticipated fifth album, set to come out in the less than two weeks…More on that a little later.

Needless to say, drinking Seattle’s Best coffee and reading Metal Hammer were some firsts for me, but there are definitely more where those came from. For the first time in a very long while, I found two things from Hot Topic that were actually worth buying. Yes, you heard right… I found two things that were actually worth spending money on…There was a time when I would frequently buy something in Hot Topic, almost every time I went. I would walk in, and as if automatically find something I liked and bought it. The same cannot be said now. Don’t get me wrong, I still like the store, I just don’t find anything that I really like and, for that matter, would feel comfortable spending money on. Among all the new-age band tees and never-ending array of Twilight gear, I saw them: A black and white baseball style shirt with lime green, neon pink, and gray photo strips of a ribcage and a black Boondocks Saints tee, with “Veritas, Aequitas” in red down the sides. It made me smile all huge and goofy knowing that for once I’d actually found two shirts that I actually liked and didn’t feel like it would be a complete waste buying them.

Aside from my tee shirt purchases, I also thought I would try a different color for my lip rings. Yes, my lip is pierced. Twice to be correct and exact. Snakebites. I’ve had them for two months, but never really felt like mentioning them until now. It was definitely a first, walking into a tattoo shop that I’d never been in before, fully determined to get metal stakes driven through my lip one after the other. Okay, not really, but still. I’d been wanting to get my lip pierced for two years and after I got my braces off (which was last September!), I felt like it was time.

My dad and Timmy (yes, my boyfriend indeed has a name) accompanied me for the piercing-of-the-lip, which I thought was pretty cool and kind of strange at the same time…Anyway, as I looked around at the vibrant tattoo designs that graced the walls, I felt comfortable and not at all worried or scared about what was about to happen. I was taken back by one of the piercers, I honestly didn’t catch his name, and was told to sit down on a bench. We made some small talk as he put plastic gloves on and started to get all the needed equipment, then he told me to just relax, which surprisingly, I already kind of was. Two metal stakes driven through both sides of my lip and two 16g lip rings later, I was sitting on the couch in the waiting section of the tattoo shop, reading the assorted magazines and looking at tattoo designs with Timmy. I’ll admit that after I got them, I did regret it a little bit (mainly the constant need to be cleaned and the fact that there could be absolutely no kissing involved…thankfully prom was the weekend before!), but after a while, I didn’t mind. Especially, when I came into school that following Monday. I was honestly surprised at how many people said they liked it or that it looked good on me. Which, I would say that it indeed does. It’s a piercing that I can actually pull off. I’m happy to say that two months have passed since my snakebites and they healed up pretty nicely and kissing can no longer be scratched out of the equation. My lip rings are now an 18g, icy blue, as oppose to the silver 16g I was fitted with how long ago. I have to say that I favor the blue over silver, and the smaller size doesn’t hurt either. I’m honestly really glad I got snakebites.

These are my firsts so far. Granted, there are indeed probably a lot more, but I can’t think of them right now, or they just haven’t happened yet. Either way, being surrounded by a good amount of firsts is pretty good. I’m more than certain that there will be a whole assortment of adventures in store for me this summer. I just need to know where to look.

Never be afraid to try something new, you just might surprise yourself.