You came back with a vengeance, everything is all the more darker in your presence.
I thought I could outrun you, that your sadistic brand of misery was far behind me.
Although I’ve been in your presence before (for you never truly left), I feel as though I cannot take the pressure this time around, the darkness all the more consuming.
My body bends, breaks at your will, for you all I can think about whilst under your influence, controlling my every thought, my every action, exposing my every fear.
It feels as though you’ve been with me for a lifetime, hiding, waiting in dormancy for the right time to strike, to deal death.
For when I am under your pressure I feel as though that release is far superior to the agony.
With this unexpected visit comes a brand new symptom, because was better to accompany your crippling twisting and turning than isolation?
While I want with every ounce of my being to be out in the open (free in some sense of the word), I know that it would be best to keep my distance, for it’s all too certain that I can’t function normally with you around.
The face that I put on, the one that I have tried to perfect for years on end, is beginning to slip, beginning to bring the emotional agony you’re inflicting to life.
You came back with a vengeance, making everything all the more darker.
You reignited every fear, every instinct to run and hide.
And yet I remain.
© Copyright July 2017/November 2017/January 2018/March 2018