Disintegrated by a lack of focus, nothing new on the frontier of the mind.
Brewing deep inside, from a savagery cutting beyond the dust and dirt, lie the remnants of my self-control.
Collapsed is my ability to think straight, concentration comes and goes like the dying flames of a seasoned train-wreck, smoldering for the sake of trying.
Anxious and isolated in an ocean of the blackest depression, my body suffers through the days, trained to ensure the agony my mind won’t let me forget.
Tragic as the consequences seem to be, nothing kills quite like the fall from grace, reborn for a better day, primed for the poison.
Feed me your excuses, recommendations as to the cause of the impact, lying through your teeth.
Does your conscience not steer you wrong, or do you let it ride, autopilot shifting gears all the way?
Maximize my thinking; the capacity is astounding, losing the grip that held me so free.
Notions of regaining my carefree demeanor, safe and sound on the shores of optimism, are obliterated by the heaviness that plagues both my body and mind.
Any allusions of snapping out of it, finding an exit strategy from the abyss in which I’m suffocating, is pointless, teetering on the edge of impossibly.
The reassurance of such thoughts, the probability of everything being all right, that I will rise from the ashes of despair, is easier said than done.
Every nerve in my body, down to the last fiber of my being, screams for a quick relief, a graceful pardon from this state of perpetual darkness I find myself enveloped in.
Tell me that I will make it out of this hold unharmed, that the black cloud that hovers above me will subside sooner rather than later.
Help me to feel something, anything, again, assure me that this apathy and helplessness are only temporary.
Tell me my days won’t always be so dark, that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a freight train (for once), and help me realize that I’m not the only one, that others suffer far worse than I.
My selfishness is disgusting.
© Copyright March 2013/August 2013/July 2016