Happy Birthday, Amy!

Today is, as you know, August 31st. The last day of August, but it’s not just the last day of August. It’s also my sister’s birthday.

So I just wanted to say Happy Birthday, Amy! I know that ever few days she reads my blog, and tells me what she thinks about my posts and which are her favorites. I know she’ll stumble upon this entry first, unless I stay up late writing another post, (which I won’t!) but I’m sure this will be the first one she and everyone who visits my page will see. 🙂

Happy Birthday, Amy! I hope you had a really good birthday. I know I didn’t share it with you, but I did help pick out your present. 😉

Happy Birthday! Love you!

Third Day Of My Last Year

It’s Monday. The third day of my last year. I’m starting to really annoy myself when I think that. The third day of my last year…It sounds like I’m gonna die next year or something. How horrible. I still can’t get my head around the fact that I’m a senior, though. Getting past that totally annoying saying that I have to not say anymore…Yes, it is indeed Monday. And this Monday, I actually had fun in gym.

Last night and this morning, I felt, well not the best. Since the weather is deciding to go to from really warm to really chilly, my allergies and asthma were acting up. Not very cool, believe me. I feel asleep on the couch in our living room, which is something I never do on school nights. Well, I do, just not when I’m fully ready to sleep in my own bed. I feel asleep on the couch, with a chocolate brown fleece blanket over me, watching the show Monsters Inside Me. I don’t know if I fell asleep because I was tired or because of the really gross cases on the show. People were getting sick from bugs that were inside them. Actually inside them…I’m surprised I even slept.

I woke up a little later than I’d hoped, but I still woke up. I was feeling better. Still hurting in some places, but I was ok enough to go to school. I took a shower, got dressed, ate, fooled around with my hair, and did an asthma treatment. A big asthma treatment. The same asthma treatment that made me leave for school later than I usually would have, but it wasn’t really a big deal. I could hardly get into school anyway.

I stood there, in front of school, with countless other people, waiting to get into school. It wasn’t raining like it had been on Friday, which was good. It was actually a pleasant morning to be standing outside. If only I wasn’t at school…I watched people cut in front of other people. I didn’t cut in front of anyone, or at least I tried not too. I was just standing there, listening to AFI’s new single “Medicate”. I must have listened to it more than 5 times while waiting in the make-shift lines. A couple more in between classes through out the day. Finally, I made it into school. 20 minutes late, but I made it. My first period teacher was surprisingly ok with the fact that I was late. Others filed in after me a couple minutes later.

Most of this really sunny, chilly Monday was ordinary. All of my classes going by really quick, which is pretty normal because I only have 6 classes this year. English seemed to drag on, though. Probably because we weren’t doing anything. People were sitting there, holding their own conversations, while my teacher took attendance. He said something about handing us out books, but I guess there are more people coming in. Speaking about people coming into class, my French class was insane! There seemed like there were alot more people as oppose to Friday. The maximum capacity is, like, 25 and I think it might have been exceeded or will be soon.

The bell that ended English rang fashionably late, as I’m thinking it will all year. Lunch went by fast. I didn’t get lunch today, even though I told myself I would today. I just didn’t feel like getting up. My laziness for ya. I wished that I’d remembered to take my Amp energy drink out of the fridge before I left this morning. The bell that ended lunch was also, fashionably late. I walked into gym, dreading it a little.

The gym, for some reason, didn’t look as big as it did last week. Maybe the reason why my dread wasn’t so strong as it before. Now, I don’t hate gym at all. I love gym. I love playing volleyball. In my eyes, it’s the best stress reliever. Especially, if I’m having a bad day. I pretend the ball is someone’s head. Always works to relieve stress for me. I sat by this girl from my English class, Mariah, and my friend from freshmen year, Alyssa. After it took my gym teacher what seemed like forever to take attendance, the three of us decided to play ping pong.

At first, I wasn’t too sure if I should play because of my breathing, but it was fine all day, so I figured what the hell? Not the best move on my part, but I know my limits. I know what I can and can’t do. Mariah and Alyssa played a game of ping pong first. I was just watching against the bleachers. When they finished playing, I played Mariah. I honestly didn’t know how good I was at ping pong. I’d never played it to know whether I was good or not. I guess I’m a little too talented, I hit the ball up so high, it got stuck in between the upper part of the bleachers. We asked the other gym teacher if we could go get it, and she let us. All three of us walked up the steps next to the boys’ lockeroom, and found ourselves actually on top of the bleachers. I’d never been up there before, only of my firsts as a senior. After we got the ball, Alyssa and I played a game. Once again, I guess I was good. I didn’t get it up on top the bleachers again, which was good, but I barely missed the ball, either. I was what Alyssa called a “beast”.

Even when we were playing volleyball, two against one, I was still a “beast”. Two on one isn’t fair, but it’s how we played. I wished we had another player, but there wasn’t anyone else I knew and all the other individuals in the gym were preoccupied with their own things, and I’m very shy. People I don’t know + Being shy = Being very, very shy…I wasn’t as rusty as I thought I would be. The last time I’d played volleyball was in May, when my one teacher wasn’t there and my class had to go to the gym. Every serve Mariah hit to me, I hit. I never knew I had such an intensity for volleyball. I never missed a hit, with the exception of the soft ones or the ones that went over my head. And me being so tiny, it’s not that hard. The first 5, maybe 10 minutes of playing, my wrists were red. It didn’t bother me, though. It’s the only sport I’m relatively good at, so I figured at a little pain and soreness is worth it. We played until my gym teacher told us to put the ball up. My wrists were still red. My last bell of the day rang. Fashionably late, of course.

I walked home in the beauty and coolness of the afternoon sun, my wrists still red, still listening to “Medicate”. Today, I surprisingly learned alot. People who seemed like, not nice people, turn out to be ok. French is wayyy too crowded. My art teacher will not be at school this Friday. My English class has more people, and we will slowly, but surely be learning something soon. I write too much when my Health teacher only asked for 3 to 5 sentences. I have listened to AFI’s new single too many times. Wayyy too many times. That’s my Monday.

I guess I’m a “beast”.

 

The butterfly, the eagle, the moose & the freshmen

Today was the first day of school. The first day of my last year of high school. Any nervousness? Not really, a little tired still but not nervous. I woke up at 5:15 with motivation, which is so not like me because I usually need motivation to wake up that early. I guess I had alot of motivation without even knowing it. School starts at 8:00 and I was there at 7:35, 7:40. Superior motivation on my part.

I looked out the window at the rain, listening to my iPod, pulling up to the front of school. It didn’t feel like an August morning. Instead it felt like a slice of Autumn, daintily sprinkled with cold rain and partially humid air. I pulled the hood up on my gray hoodie, and turned my iPod a little louder. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people dressed in the same fashion, all in the same place before. This year, like my junior and sophomore year, there’s a dress code. A very stupid dress code, if you ask me and everyone else at school probably. Everything about it is pretty stupid. We have to wear dark blue/white polo shirts, black/dark blue/khaki pants…So much for originality. It’s just incredible how a group or two of people can harm everyone else’s choices.

I was walking around in the massive crowd of people, when I heard my name. I thought I had my iPod loud enough, but it appears that vocal chords are louder. It was my friend Taylor. She was standing by my other friends, John and Maria. We talked for a bit, until she saw Maria’s sister, Amber and her boyfriend Jason. Taylor pointed to the moose on Jason’s polo. I immediately thought of my dog and how we call him ‘Moose’. I learned it was the Abercrombie & Fitch logo. Go figure. Amber had a butterfly on hers, which I recognized immediately as Aeropostle. So many people had them last year, it’s a wonder I didn’t forget. I resorted for something more simple and logo-less. Black skinny jeans, a light blue lacy tanktop, and a dark blue polo. Simple enough, I suppose. Not a logo in sight.

I got my schedule, and I couldn’t believe what I saw…I didn’t have a 1st or 4th period! I was like ‘Wtf?’ I sat in the cafeteria for 40 minutes, waiting for the bell to ring. I saw my friend, Chelsea, who suggested I should see my counselor about my schedule. Since Taylor and I had the same kind of problems, we both walked upstairs. Some lady standing by the doors stopped us, asking us what we were doing. We told her. She said that the counselor wasn’t changing anything today, which was a big crock of lies. Lies! Feeling a ping of  defeat, we both went back to where we were sitting and waited for the bell to ring. Again. This year it’s fashionably late. Gym was my next class. I could just feel the excitement bursting. Yawn.

Sure, the gym was big last year, but this year it seems even bigger. The 40 minutes wer quickly consumed by just sitting in the bleachers, listening to my shuffle. I wished I would’ve remembered the book I’ve been reading. Oh well. The next ride in the amusement park was Health. Health that was held in the basement. I’d honestly never been in the basement of school. Never. It was just a big room with desks, computers, and a big flat-screen TV by the teacher’s desk. How convenient. It almost reminded me of a much bigger version of my bedroom, via exposed air duct work and such. I sat there for another 40 minutes, drinking my lemon iced tea and talking to Johnny. 4th period? According to my schedule, I still didn’t have one.

Eventually, I revamped my schedule, and got the classes I wanted and needed. I got a 1st and 4th period! It was really hot in the counselor’s office, and it made me pretty much non-responsive. I was able to say what I needed to, though. According to my schedule, my 5/6 class was English 4. I noticed that most of the people in my class I knew from last year. I was relieved that I knew people in some of my classes. I noticed my friend, two seats in front of me, had an eagle on her sweater…American Eagle. Go figure. Again. I liked my English teacher. He told us a little bit about himself, which seemed refreshing at that moment in time. He told us we would read Macbeth this year. That made me smile a bit. The last 10 minutes of class, we had to write something about ourselves, which was pretty easy. I didn’t finish mine, though. I tend to write an awful lot, as suggested by most of the entries on my blog. 🙂

Finally, my last ‘class’ of the day was lunch. I sat where I usually sat last year, with the exception of the people who sat with me last year. Today I sat with my friend Ashley. It was good to talk to her and just chill amongst all the chaos. Large group of freshmen = Chaos. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many freshmen since my freshmen year. They all seemed to swarm into the cafeteria simultaneously, just as they had this morning, scavenging for their freshly pressed schedules. Freshmen. Oh how I used to be one of them.

I’d say all and all, my first day of school was good. Pretty uneventful for the most part, but good nonetheless. I honestly thought it was Friday, until I looked at my phone and realized it was still Thursday. Back to the ol’ grind tomorrow.

I learned more about over-priced clothing labels and their fancy logos than I did anything else today.

Last Day of Freedom

I woke up this morning to the unfamiliar chill coming from my open window. That minute, right then and there, I knew that summer is coming to a close. I stood on my bed and looked out the window. The sky looked grey, the equivalent of a fall morning. Despite the fact that it’s still August. I found myself waking up at 7:15, which is pretty early in my book. The earliest I’ve ever woken up this summer. Not the norm of 10:00, 11:00, or sometimes noon. No sir or madam, not today.

This summer went by too quickly. It strangely didn’t feel like it was going by very fast when it was still in its prime, but now that it’s tapering away, it’s gone by too quickly. I sort of feel like I wasted the summer away alittle bit. Like I did absolutely nothing for almost 2 and a half months. Contrary to my beliefs, this is so not true. I was actually free to do what I wanted, with some minor restrictions. No drinking or drunk tattoos/piercings, not that I would anyway. I’m smarter than that. I actually have some sense. With this freedom, I hung out with my friends, severed relationships with people I’m better off without, went to concerts, found out new things about my friends, broke in my new dark purple bathing suit, expressed a random assortment of my loves, hates and everything in between on this blog of mine you’re currently reading…I’d say I did alot this summer.

Today is the last day of summer break. School starts tomorrow, and I’m not mentally ready. My mind just isn’t motivated like my body is. Sometimes I wish summer didn’t have to be over. Today is my last day of summer freedom.

This year went by too fast.

Defective little dreamcatcher Pt. 2

All has not been fine and dandy in Noelle’s little dreamland. No sir or madam it hasn’t. Three days ago, I said that I thought my dreamcatcher was defective…Now, I think it’s truly is defective.

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a massive headache and gasping for air. Not something that I do very often when waking up. Not something that happens really at all. I had just woken up from a bad dream. No lie. A truly bizarre dream.

It started with me being at my friend Melodie’s house, except it didn’t look anything like her house. The inside was really cramped, and it didn’t look how I remembered. Granted, it’s been 4 years since I’ve been inside her house and it probably does look different now, but not like it did here. Out of nowhere, her boyfriend Tyler is there. He looked different. His hair was longer. The last time I saw him, it was short and blonde (probably his natural color…it’s been too many colors to count), and I doubt his hair grows that fast. They suggested that we all go see the fireworks, even though it’s clearly past the 4thof July. I decided to just go with it, and hope for the best.

The next thing I know, I’m sitting with Melodie and Tyler on someone’s front lawn, in what looks like a development. Which is totally weird because there is no suburban development of any kind by where either of us live. There were a couple other people sitting with us, but I had no idea who they were. Just then, I felt something in my tote bag. I didn’t remember having my Jack & Sally tote bag at all at Mel’s house. I reached in and found my cell phone, except it wasn’t my cell phone. This phone was dark red, the same color as my hair. I hit the screen of the new phone with my thumb, revealing that I had a new message…The message was from my ex-boyfriend.

In it, was an assortment of different pictures with words overlapping them. There was some random poem, an “I love you”, roses, and a merry-go-round, all in black & white. I was totally puzzled because I knew he would never send me this, especially since we’re not in a relationship anymore. I was going to show Melodie but thought better of it. The next message was even more unusual. My thumb touched the screen, and I saw his face. He was talking. I turned up the volume and heard what he was saying. “I love you. I want to get back together. I’ll change…I love you.” I just looked at the screen, dumbfounded. It was just so weird. I kept looking at the screen until I felt the phone vibrate again. It was another message with him talking again. This one was quite different, though. “I hate you. You ruined me. You ruined every chance I have at love. I hate you. I hate you.” He never told me he hated me when we were together. He never told me he loved me, either. Granted, we weren’t together for really that long. It was, like, a serious mood swing. Completely unexpected. I didn’t know what to feel or think.

All of a sudden I was in this room. It looked like a back room of a house. A line of computers against one wall, and couches and chairs scattered around. What’s up with computers in my dreams? Maybe it’s because I use mine almost every single day…It was really dark and I’d just received another message, but I couldn’t hear it or see it that well. I tried to turn up the volume, but it was already up to the maximum. Out of nowhere, I started to see and hear things. I was talking to a freakin’ lamp! The next thing I know, there’s a fire in the room, and I’m standing right there. The couches and chairs go up in flames, right where I could’ve sworn someone was sitting. Someone who looked like a cop, but probably wasn’t, came into the room and found something under one of the couches. It was a skeleton of what looked like a small deer. I started to cry. I knew that someone was sitting on that couch when I came in. They didn’t go anywhere. I knew they were there. I wasn’t crazy.

The next half of my dream was weird, but in a goofy way. I was walking by the flower shop by my house with a puppy, but it wasn’t my puppy. My puppy is pretty big for being a puppy, but this puppy was the size of a regular one. A big one, but a puppy nonetheless. I was just walking with it, when I saw one of my relatives (the same one from the Christian Bale dream in Pt. 1), my neighbor, and a family friend. All three sipping tea next to the flower shop. They surprisingly didn’t say anything to me, which I thought they would. I continued to walk on with my puppy until I reached my house. When I walked through the front door, there were five people waiting for me. Three women and two men. All five were heavily tattooed, and pierced. Their tattoos and piercings looked very good on them, though. Some people’s tattoos/piercings don’t look very flattering on them, but not in this case. They all looked very beautiful, even the men.

The women were modern-day pin-up girls or at least that’s what they looked like. Perfect, smooth, sleek hair dyed dark purple, dark blue, and red, respectively. Make-up, but not too much, just enough to show the true beauty of their eyes and lips. Black high heel Mary Janes, black skirts, and different textured corsets adorned the three women in front of me. The men were modern-day gentlemen. Black straight-legged pants, a little on the skinny side, black Converse, black button-down shirts, and black fedoras graced the handsome men.

After looking at the five people in front of me for awhile, I began to wonder why they were in my house. Could it be something I was wearing maybe? A black Tripp skirt, with matching corset, black Doc Marten’s, just enough eye make-up (so I don’t look like the walking dead!), and my dark red hair looking perfect and strangely really pretty…I looked kind of like a smaller version of the three women. Minus the tattoos and excessive piercings. Maybe that’s why they were here. I heard them talking about tattoos, and I would be 18 in a week…

Then I woke up. Gasping. From what? Absolutely no idea. The first thing that I could think of was that I was gasping from the fire, but that was the first part of my dream. I was way past that in my little dreamland. And what about my killer headache? Trying to figure out why those beautiful, excessively tattooed and pierced people were in my house? I couldn’t think of any other reason than the latter. The lack of sleep I’ve been getting could be the reason as well. I have no idea. I think, sir or madam, that this proves how my dreamcatcher is defective.

Chocolate and interesting documentaries are sometimes the worst things to consume before bed.

“You’ve Made Me Perfect”

Yes, I know a couple weeks ago I said that Suicide Silence was my favorite band at the moment, but I’ve found myself going back to a band that’s been around longer and comes from a totally different genre. A band that I just love. The band that is the center of my musical obsession right now is AFI.

I was reading an article in the October issue of Revolver magazine about AFI’s new album, their 8th studio album, Crash Love, which is said to come out on September 29th…I’ll be honest: I’m not a die-hard AFI fan. When their full-length debut, Answer That And Stay Fashionable came out  in 1995, I was only 4. So I can’t say I’m a dedicated, die-hard fan, but I can say that I’ve been a fan since 2003.

I remember I was watching FUSE and I saw the video for “Girl’s Not Grey” for the very first time. My mom was in the room with me, and she had to take a double take, looking at lead singer Davey Havok, asking me, “Is that a man or a women?” Looking back on that day now, I smile and laugh, because I was the one that turned her kinda into an AFI fan. Well, not of their old-school stuff, because I honestly don’t think she’s ever heard it, but definitely of the entire Sing The Sorrow album.   

I didn’t just make my mom a fan of Sing The Sorrow, though. It had a surprising effect on the kids at my new school at the time, most who became my friends. Like, none of them heard of AFI. I had a bunch of buttons and I wore a shirt one day, so they started to get curious about my musical preferences, I guess. Not long after, my one friend told me he was blaring it through the speakers in his dad’s car. That made me smile. It’s just amazing how music can bring people together.

After awhile I thought I’d dig deeper into their older albums. This thought entered my mind after I received their 2000 album, The Art Of Drowning for Christmas a year later. I hadn’t listened to the whole thing yet, so I figured I would, and I’m really happy I did. Their sound was more fast-paced and more energetic. Now don’t get me wrong, Sing The Sorrow is great, but something about Drowning caught me, and held me. Seeing the videos for “Leaving Song, Pt. 2” and “Silver And Cold”,  I sort of  fell in love again with the type of sound Sorrow brought, but that didn’t lessen the hold their older material had what-so-ever. I decided to dig even deeper, and I’m, once again, really happy I did.

Out of all their old albums, I personally like Answer That And Stay Fashionable, Black Sails In The Sunset, All Hallow’s EP (yes, it’s an EP, but it’s still great!) and The Art Of Drowning.

The first time I saw the video for “Miss Murder”, I didn’t know what to think. Their sound was new and different, and it honestly took me awhile to get used to it. Yes, I know how bands usually change their sound to keep up with times and sort of branch away from everything that sounds the same, and I totally respect that. It takes alot of guts to change your sound, knowing that fans will either accept or deny it. AFI did one hell of a job.

After listening to the song a couple times, I fell in love with it. I actually have “Love Like Winter”, “Kill Caustic”, and “Affliction” on my iPod. Great songs. Most people would probably say that “It’s not the same AFI” or “What the hell is this?”. I think that’s just close-mindedness at its best. Yes, the sound of, well, Decemberunderground is different but it’s still the same four guys, doing what they love. The only thing that changed is the sound, and let’s face it, who wants every album by a band they really like or maybe even love, to be just a regurgitated version of itself? I think that Underground is a good album. I mean, yeah, it doesn’t sport the same exact intensity as their previous work, but it has an intensity all its own. Any kind of intensity is good. No matter how extreme or minuscule, it doesn’t matter. It’s still the same band.

…From what I read about Crash Love, it’s going to be more of a “guitar record”. Which means no synths or anything like that. I guess that means nothing like Decemberunderground or any other of their records for that matter. I have a feeling it’s going to be something totally different than anything else out there, as Underground was, but with alot more intensity than Underground. No matter what the sound, it’s still AFI. I’m really excited about Crash Love. I can’t wait til September 29th! 😉

Look what you’ve done to me now, you’ve made me perfect.” “The Lost Souls” – AFI

Defective little dreamcatcher

You know how dreamcatchers are meant to keep bad dreams from entering your little dreamland when you sleep? I wonder if there’s some kind of policy against weird, really awkward dreams, too. If there is, then mine is definitely defective.

I’ve never had a dreamcatcher, but I’ve always thought they were interesting. I was over my sister’s house a month ago or so, and she was getting rid of stuff she didn’t want. I ended up getting her dreamcatcher.

For some reason, I didn’t put it up by one of my windows right away. It just sat on my desk for a couple days. My bedroom is actually in the basement of my house, so I only have two windows, that aren’t that big. I finally decided to put it in the window closest to my bed, the most obvious choice, I guess.

Nothing really changed in Noelle’s little dreamland until a couple days ago. Lately, I’ve been having just down right awkward and weird dreams. Just completely random and just really, really weird. In one of them, my former friend and I both attend the same elite academy and are on some kind of field trip. We’re standing among a bunch of other people, and I’m standing on some platform and for once, I was actually taller than her. With a little help from my Doc Marten’s of course. It’s weird because she’s 5’11” and I’m 4’10” and I was wearing boots and standing on a platform and was taller. She then proceeds to tell me that I look “alot prettier in the summer and winter because of the outfit I was wearing.” I guess it wasn’t pretty enough for her. It was really strange.

In my latest, one of my relatives, who I haven’t seen in awhile, is talking to me, and I’m not paying attention because I’m too busy reading an article on Christian Bale. We were in my backyard and for some reason, she had a pair of binoculars, looking at the houses behind my house. I didn’t even wanna know what she was doing. I really didn’t care. I just wanted to read the article. Out of nowhere, she tells me to “Make her a sandwich”…And I’m like “What? Make your own.” She tells me to “Stop reading and make me a sandwich.” I’m like, “You’re kidding, right?”…Next thing I know, I’m making her a freakin’ sandwich, crying my eyes out. I don’t even know what she wants on it, I just make it. Apparently, I didn’t make it right because she just looked at me and continued to say things I didn’t wanna hear. That’s what you get for not letting me finish the article on Christian Bale. I make you the wrong kind of sandwich. Ha! The other half of the dream was me and my two friends who don’t even talk to each other anymore. All 3 of us were in school, except our school looked really…different. Really weird and just not how school looked. We were in the hallway and this monster-looking thing passed us and took my cell phone. Or maybe I just lost it. But I could have sworn that the monster thing took it. We went into the computer lab, expecting to go on the computers or something. Instead, people were scratching the computer screens with keys to access their email accounts, and people were getting piercings done in the smaller room attached to it. Needless to say, I didn’t go on any of the computers and I didn’t end up getting anything pierced. Even more stranger than the first.

Everything about both of those dreams is just weird and out of the ordinary. If there is some kind of policy on dreams like that, my dreamcatcher is definitely defective.

Sometimes dreams are stranger than reality. Sometimes reality is the sanest place to lay your head.